Good morning you Fluffin' Fluff! How was your weekend? I hope it was as awesome as you are, but if it was less than fabulous and had you declare "FOR FLUFF SAKE!" more than once this blog is for you.
Let's face it. We all reach a point where our patience runs out, our social battery dies, and our tolerance for nonsense packs its bags and leaves without so much as a "later loser".
If you've found yourself relating more to a grumpy cat than an actual human lately, there's a good chance you're completely out of fluffs to give.
Here are 10 tell-tale signs.
1. Your Face Says It All
Remember when you used to pretend to be interested?
Neither do we.
These days, your face broadcasts your thoughts before you've even opened your mouth. If someone asks a stupid question, your eyebrows answer it for you.
2. You Start Every Morning with Caffeine and Chaos
Coffee isn't a luxury anymore. It's life support.
Before your first cup, you're a danger to yourself and others. After your first cup, you're merely disappointed in humanity.
Progress.
3. Small Talk Feels Like a Personal Attack
"Lovely weather we're having."
Is it though?
If you've ever considered faking a phone call to escape a conversation about the weather, congratulations—you may be running critically low on fluffs.
4. Your Spirit Animal Is a Cat
Cats have life figured out.
They sleep when they want, ignore people they don't like, and knock things over for no apparent reason.
Honestly, they're role models.
5. You Reply with Sarcasm Before Your Brain Can Stop You
Someone says something ridiculous.
Before you can help yourself, the sarcasm escapes.
It's not intentional. It's a reflex.
6. You Have a Growing Collection of Dark Humour
The older you get, the funnier dark humour becomes.
At this point, if a joke makes other people gasp slightly before laughing, it's probably your favourite kind.
7. Your Favourite Phrase Starts with "For Fluff Sake..."
Traffic jam?
For fluff sake.
Printer not working?
For fluff sake.
Dropped your biscuit in your tea?
Definitely for fluff sake.
8. You're Selectively Social
You love people.
Some people.
Occasionally.
From a distance.
9. You've Mastered the Art of the Polite Eye Roll
It's subtle.
Professional.
Practically an Olympic sport.
You've become so skilled that most people don't even realise you've just expressed your entire opinion without saying a word.
10. You Laugh Instead of Cry
When everything goes wrong, you've got two choices.
You can cry about it.
Or you can shrug, pour yourself a drink, light a candle, put on your favourite sarcastic t-shirt and accept that sometimes...
Shiitake Happens.
Final Thoughts
Being out of fluffs to give isn't necessarily a bad thing.
It usually means you've stopped worrying about pleasing everyone, started embracing your own personality, and learned that life is far too short to take everything seriously.
So if you've nodded along to most of these signs, welcome to the club.
Pull up a chair.
Grab a coffee.
And remember...
Fluff You. Fluff Me. Fluff It. Fluff Off!
I Fluffin' Luv Ya! 🖤
Em X